At a Total Loss!01:38 Oct 08 2007
Times Read: 627
I'm losing it...
Totally...
Work sucks...
I'm poorer then the church mouse...
I play enie menie minee moe to see which bills get paid...
I'm doing it all...
Andy keeps the computer from getting lonely...
I go to work...
I come home and cook, clean, etc...
I do dishes...
I do laundry...
I cut the grass...
I took the pool down...
I got the old ac hauled off, by Brian no less...
I don't think he even realizes it's gone...
I'm not sure he'd realize if I was gone...
He get's so caught up in himself, I feel invisible most times...
I'm so broke, I can't even afford food anymore...
All I do is buy food for animals...
I scrimp by on me...
I don't seem to care anymore...
My mind seems to have left the building...
I refuse to even go look for it...
My life is so mundane, I hate it...
I go to work...
I come home...
I do my chores...
I shower...
I go to bed...
I repeat...
I repeat...
I have nothing to look forward too...
I dread the holidays...
Brianna and Jessica both have birthdays coming up...
Christmas is a blink away...
I'm scared anymore...
Something hurts on me everyday...
I have no money...
Gas for work is hard to come by...
My credit card is maxed...
I have no one to turn too anymore...
My bills go more unpaid then paid...
I rob Peter to pay Paul and Peter is broke already...
Both Peter and Paul go unpaid...
When will the come and just repo me...
Throw me into some sort of lockup...
Let the state take care of me...
I can't seem to do it anymore...
And I always considered myself a caregiver...
What a joke that turned out to be...
I look to go to work one day, and my stranded on the side of the road...
Sometimes I just wish I could dry up and blow away...
Disappear...
No longer thought about...
Sometimes life is so unfair...
I'm tired of being screwed by life...
I'm tired of Andy and his forgetfulness...
I want more help...
I want him to stand next to me and offer to help with the dishes even if I say he don't need too...
I want him to offer to do stuff instead of me having to ask...
Like the trash, or help with laundry...
Although he did help fold it today...
Not sure why though...
He's been on the computer for 18 or more hours out of the day...
I sit in the living room most of the day alone...
Except when Brianna was here...
I spent so much time crying because of it...
I shouldn't have to ask for attention...
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